We have remarked before on the astonishing capacity of the British Council to plant trees. They do this faster than they can dream up a puff about themselves, get a new screw out of government, undermine a business or wangle a tax break.
How can I be so certain? Well just look at this headline. Last time we were marvelling at the organisation’s reported ability to plant 15,000 trees in a day. Pah! Starting in August, the article says, in just two years they are going to plant 30 million trees. 30 million. Now, even the most dedicated climate change champion or diversity manager or good governance advisor has to have some time off in order to get their holiday entitlement, enjoy the local sights, attend functions, do a bit of global warming and be seen to be doing something in their offices, so let’s say they spend 500 days over the next two years planting trees. If they do, that’s – let me see – 60,000 trees a day, say 5000 an hour, or one every 0.72 of a second, or 83.3 trees a minute.
So, all you sceptics out there who wonder what on earth the BC is for, take on board this statistic: in the time it takes Usain Bolt to run 100 meters, the British Council can plant 14 trees. Good or what?
They may be hopeless at everything else, but when it comes to tree-planting, or just plain bullshit, the British Council is in a league of its own.